Let me start with this—If you are seeking an immediate need to a troubling problem, here are two numbers: the National Parent Helpline is 855-4 A Parent (855 427 2736); and, the Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799 SAFE (3224). These numbers were found toward the end special advisory sections of this book.
This book is an excellent holistic approach for the parent trying to yell at their kids less. The advice in IS THAT ME YELLING feels similar to a book I read last year called IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME. That’s a good thing. Sometimes, reading older parenting books leaves me confused with contradictory pieces of advice, but most of what I’m reading today sings the same notes.
Here’s some of what’s similar: spend one-on-one time with your children; help coach siblings to work out their problems; seek natural and logical consequences; use “when, then” statements; use “I, you” statements. Some of the new things include meditation and awareness training and self-shame. I was especially pleased to see the author’s references to Jon Kabat-Zinn and Brené Brown.
That’s what really separate IS THAT ME YELLING from other counterparts: the generous attributions the author uses throughout. If she shares an idea, she’s humble enough to share the book the idea was sourced from. You’ll walk away with excellent advice, as well as a plethora of further reading.
The author mixes in personal stories with her advice. She also creates her own A-B-C-D-E response approach (ask, breathe, calm yourself, decide what your child needs, empathize) and her four C’s (communication, choices, consequences, connection). She also encourages parents to keep a journal and track their yelling, trying to figure out the cause to address.
There are many quotes in this book, but this one was one of my favorites: “The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Thanks to New Harbinger for providing me an electronic review copy of this book. It is a well-rounded and sound approach to parenting that will help lower the yelling and increase the bond between parents and their children.